They should really pass out barf bags in church
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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