absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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