i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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