Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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