take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
