what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
