I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
