Will you blow on my dice?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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