I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
