I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
