i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
