jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
