Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its not stalking. its research.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
