is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
