No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
