I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i need an iv and a liver transplant
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
