We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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