you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
