Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
