Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
