GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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