This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
