Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
