in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We are two peas in an std pod
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
