Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize