Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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