Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
