id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
