is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
