Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
