There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
And my parents said I crawled through the house
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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