there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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