At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
