dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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