Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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