if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
