what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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