Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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