Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
