Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
