i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You ruined the universe
Randomize
