My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
