who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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