my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
