wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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