he puts the penis in happiness.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
