it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
