when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
