Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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