I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
