things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
