i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
