Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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(585): View more from New York

even my farts smell like vagina

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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(585): View more from New York

i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.

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(928): View more from Arizona

proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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(716): View more from New York

why is there a porcupine in the kitchen

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Dude I had my dad cock block me once

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