You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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