you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
