if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
