is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
