ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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