My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
