Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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